killing it live from 84 to 04

opiesleepslate @ 2005-07-08T10:05:00

2005-07-08T14:09:04Z

last night i woke up screaming "where the fuck are we?!?" "how far are we from the yard" and, "this train is going too slow". the answer was i was on saturns couch, not a train at all, safe in vermont. i am very happy be back. to all my vermont friends i am sorry if i seem a little akward. i swear tho this is were i want to be. it is just hard after a while to feel content and happy. and just relaxed and know that everythings all right. ill be one step closer to the end on sunday. something nice will be going on, so if you feel like celebrating come around.

east meets west

2005-07-05T18:26:41Z

got kicked out of the town of bethelehem today for being a tramp. caught a wierd ride to find myself in albany ny. some one come pick up nate and i. we are at the library.

oh lord stuck in glendive again

2005-06-25T19:06:41Z

still in glendive montanananananananananana

lucky to have my legs

2005-06-24T22:15:21Z

im in glendive montana, just happy to be out of billings. ill be alot happier if i can get back to the high line or even just into north dakota tonite. who knows when ill get to minneapolis over even the east coast. it has to happen eventually even if i have to walk there. which would be a bummer cos my right shoe is giving me a blister.

poppa was a rolling stone

2005-06-20T21:30:42Z

hello everyone i left california and am now in oregon. for the first time in a while. its wierd. the ride up was crazy lots of things happened on tour. i even saw a ska band. leaving sucked. especially since i was dosed the night before. and there was some folks i didnt want to say goodbye to. but here i am. im hopping east in a couple days and should be in the mini city by the end of the week. new england ill see you in early july, find me a job. please give up any and all contacts i would like to see some people. yep thats that.

exanimated

2005-06-14T20:25:34Z

yesterday i did not feel energenic i felt exanimate. i clicked the wrong button i was so exanimated. yesterday was too hot but drinking on the roof was awesome. if you want to come over and well do it again tonite. its time to rescue san pablo

opiesleepslate @ 2005-06-13T12:23:00

2005-06-13T19:27:32Z

this morning i had one of the first dreams where i knew i was dreaming,and took control of the dream. only i couldnt make myself wake up. i did make myself fly though, but by the time i did that i decided i was finally in control enough to make myself wake up. so i did i was really afraid in the dream i would never wake up. this weekend was nice. i dont know what exanimate means.

she comes in colors

2005-06-11T20:12:02Z

well livejournal its been a good couple of days. on thursday i went to the city, frank the dog, james and chuck drove. i went to needles and pens and made six dollars and fifty cents. that means thirteen losers are wearing some arty pin that i made. the day before i also sold like 60 punk pins to buffalo exchange in hopes of getting some pants but they all sucked so i only got like 20 bucks. anyways back in the city i went on and got some new shoes and then we went to this awesome swing and drank good beer. then we picked up aaron scored some drugs and went back to oakland. i made a pretty bad ass casserole but it was a little too dry. then we went to this lame show and the music sucked and i crashed on the conalapins(sp?) and just felt tired. then i went to tinas, woke up hung out with her, before going out to get a new hat, which ive already ripped, luckily it was stolen. then back to tinas and we drank carona with lime and it was the best thing ever. then i went home to try and learn how to eat onions. tina became a little cross with me about that. then the line a pac n save were to long so i gave up made pasta smoked weed and fell asleep. then a crank caller woke me up, so i went upstairs and smoked more weed. then kristina called as i was going downstairs to bed. i was way too tired to make it to her house, and she was very upset about this and we spent about a half hour talking about it. which is way too long for me to talk about where im gonna sleep. so here i am. i think today is the day i learn to like onions. oh yea and those grand folks acts of sedition are letting me tag along on there way up north. im gonna try to sell buttons at their shows. should be good. so little nate, sarah and anyone else i will see you on the 18.

promises to keep, and miles to go before i sleep

2005-06-06T17:36:05Z

dear livejournal,
well i have a week left on my dead line to start the voyage east by june 12. it is really really hard to leave. in my mind all i can get together is come on shit fuck why cant you just live here and be happy. thats the problem i am happy, i could easily change my situation for the better here to make it beyond awesome. kristina is really upset. she says i just used her and tried to keep her to myself and was selfish. this is all may very well be true. i dont think it is, but what do i know. she seems to forget my telling her that she was going to hate me and push me away and that was gonna be shitty all around but here we are. so i have 120 dollars no sleeping bag and no ride anywhere, and im leaving in a month. im not trying to make my life sound hard cos its not. its really easy and i made it this way. i could easily just fly on over to the east side do what i have to do and come back. but im young we are young. theres so much to see, if not now when. that and ive already committed myself. so thats why i will hitch hike alone without a sleeping bad to oregon. such bullshit, when will life make sense?? so yea im going east not because of anyone but myself. i know for a fact that i am not running away from anything. if anything this is way more trouble than its worth. i have an awesome room, stand to make more money out here, a nice lady friend, and am finally starting to expose myself to art and going back to the city. seriously on the east coast i will be living on cardboard by the river. i also have two spider bites on the knuckle of my thumb. the most annoying fucking shit ever. today im gonna drink tooooooo much coffee shit my pants and go to kinkos. any advice is welcome. anyone going anywhere that wants company im ready to go. lets all go together

as dead as the moon above

2005-06-04T21:35:11Z

hey livejournal sorry these entries have been so sappy. life is moving at a very slow pace. i need to be in oregon soon. anyone going that way? im gonna learn bad moon a rising on the geetar. i know im playing what the tabs say but it just doesnt sound right. go figure

country mouse

2005-06-02T18:31:48Z

well livejournal it looks as if we havent talked in a while. things in the east bay have been moving pretty slow. i really spend all my time with frank the dog, and then with kristina. my house is driving me out of my mind. i like living here, but the way it is now it wont be hard to leave. last night being wednesday kristina got me a ride along with hot black desiato to see there show. it seemed like fun. once in the city we purchased some beer and decided to go drink it in delores park cos there was no beer allowed in the show. oh yea we bumped into talkative zach from earlier, and he tagged along. well in the park we decided we didnt want to go back to the show so we started calling folks up. we didnt really get through to anyone. but kristina got called back by pat, and then i guess nick guilted her into wanting to go back to the east bay. i felt pretty deserted, not wanting to go to the show by myself or just walk around aimlessly alone. so i called keagan and he was home and down to be hospitable. so we walked kristina back to the show and gave clint his forty. kristina told me she was going to the show and did not want to come over to keegans. i said fine ill see you in a hour or two then. but i wasw kind of bummed she didnt want to hang out. she was of course the one who got me to go out to the city. i was there though and going to make the most of it. zach and i went to keegans drank a six pack, did a spicy bone on the roof, and then looked at some incredible art. two hours later i was back on mission and caught a ride back to the east bay, after alot of waiting. and no one new where kristina was. i know she went back to the east bay and met up with nick and patrick, i just hope she was safe. mission bart is easy but she didnt even no where it was and whatnot so i dunno i worry. anyways i declined to party once in the east bay, came home and went to sleep. seriously keegan showed me some fifth dimension type things at his house. also i have a new cd "natural dub" and im very excited to go listen to it. there it is livejournal life in the big city.

when he gets old he can wish he was young

2005-05-28T22:25:51Z

yesterday i was placed on food stamps. what a life saver. i dunno how much money i have for how long, but i went out and bought food and made huge sandwhichs for william and kristina and i still have 170 bones on that card. so it looks like ill be putting on some wieght. last night i also had the privilege to see wolves in the throne with my friends. what amazing musicians. i was pretty high and lying in bed i realized its important for me to go back to vermont. no matter how comfterble i feel here, ready to let the days slip away. i know im not gonna be more productive in vermont or any of that bullshit. its just important to see my mom and my dogs. i blew off christmas, birthdays, mothers day, whatever. now i guess it important to go cook her dinner with some of these food stamps. with that said i need to get up to portland meet little nate and start this voyage. so if anyones going up there let me know. i would love a lift.

public assistance

2005-05-26T00:01:40Z

woke up super early this morning and listened to the rise and fall of ziggy stardust and the spiders from mars. then came home and tried to read but fell asleep and had an amazing dream i wish i could remember. then i split for the welfare office with morgan. i have an appointment for a food stamps interview tomorrow at eleven. heres hoping. i was about to step to the dentist at the free clinic but my bike is dead in they yard and the lottery is in like fifteen minutes, so i guess that aint happening. im gonna get drunk and watch all like eight hours of the seven samurai. notorious b.i.g. was the greatest poet of our generation. whether he was killed for money or cos he was a genius remains to be seen. someday he will be appreciated for the poet he was. until then you can only thank him for immortalizing the time i/we grew up in. kristina got her period and that is alright.

into the black hole

2005-05-22T02:19:44Z

last night the question was posed how many shots are in a fifth? the answer is 34. i think. all i know is we did shots till that thing was gone. then we went over to colbys place and smoked a joint. then we all started to party at the beach. i poured a pint of vodka into a boones farm blue hawaii. then i couldnt stand being in the house so i left. rode my bike to danimals cos i remember there could be a bonfire there but i doubted it. there were bong hits there. so i did that and decided i had to learn how to play role playing fantasy video games. that i am less of a person and my upbringing was frauded cos i never learned how to play zelda. then i time travelled to today. what wonders did the future hold? a headache.

take a picture itll last longer

2005-05-20T19:59:15Z

yesterday was cold and rainy. at least at first, at least it was when i was in line at the food bank. then andrew stood me up and it felt like i just couldnt get anything done. so as promised i picked up frank and walked him to gaylords to meet kristina. and low and behold it was nice and sunny by the time we got there. kristina had some beer so we went and sat in cemetery and drank it. it was really nice. kristina had some valium and offered me some but my kidneys had been hurting so i declined. we sat in the cemetery some more and then left and looked for some food. we ended up getting some sushi. it was really nice. it was fun cos kristina was loose on the valium and making it really fun. we said some nice stuff to each other and things were going well. better than well, the shit had been cut and we were there you know, together as a couple or some shit i dont know how to say that. then she asked me what i was gonna do about the two of us when i left. i told her i didnt know i hadnt left yet. apparently that was the wrong answer. and she walked away, after some mean words. i guess im not going to see her again. i guess it made everything she said to me worthless. so im glad she took a picture in the cemetery, caught at our peaks. i suppose the moral of this tale is this: if a girl you like ever offers you drugs, take them. you never know whats gonna happen next, but at least youll be fucked up when it does.

things are going well.

2005-05-20T06:45:55Z

my life is really good. im sorry i complained. the things that depress me dont affect me directly or maybe they do. i dont know, perhaps kristina is right and im just searching for angst. but i feel we must question, and its too bad if we dont like the answers. i think i have taken my life into my own hands. i think i have made my descisions in life and now im living them. i have made choices that have put me where i am and im not unhappy. i have a good life. i hope we can all find something more fun to do than get drunk. i wonder if i will ever live for anything aside from "good times". many many things i have been happening. i dont know how to put them into words of a journal. tomorrow i am meeting svet at 4:30pm and we are going to buy new shoes. im happy to have my bicycle back.

bite in the ass

2005-05-19T20:00:38Z

i woke up this morning with little motivation and that really bothered me. i like it alot more when i wake up with no motivation, goals or aspirations and dont care.

collecting records to give meaning to my existence

2005-05-19T01:45:34Z

"we're gonna do whatever we want until the day we die and when die. and death wont matter cos we never cared for our lives to begin with".

opiesleepslate @ 2005-05-17T21:02:00

2005-05-18T04:06:40Z

things that make me happy:
books
cheap wine and cheap pasta (with more wine than pasta)
rivers
skateboards
singing and making music
following my feet
jacque causteau
waking up early
not wearing a t shirt
dinosaur jr.
vermonsters
crime
many more things so much more...
sometimes i get sad i think about too much things. things that should matter dont, and things that dont matter do. i have a hard time participating in society. i have a hard time finding meaning. some mornings i wake up and want to buy a gun. i get upset and dont know why. im really done with being sad. i am now an optimist, and nothing can hurt me.

a nice day

2005-05-16T18:52:54Z

saturday night i became waste hammered at kristinas house after i picked up frank and walked him to meet kristina and her father at gaylords. we drank whiskey shot gunned beer and smoked weed out of a toilet paper tube. by why it was just me tim and paulie. then kristina and i fought about something and i went home. i was seriously bummed out and surprised when she called. thus disrupting my plans to not leave my bed all day and mope. but she called and in five minutes i was in a minin van with her father mother, and two little nieces. we spent the day at the hotel napping or by the pool watching the girls swim. then we all went out to eat at great wall, and it was really good. the to aquatic park. it was really a nice day and not expected. i have not felt so comfortable with someone elses family in a long time. i would like to spend the majority of my time with kristina. but apparently im some sort of love triangle now and thats not really an option. bummer. im having a hard time participating in life and being normal. of being and nothingness it is a hard decision. time will tell, life is short. it wont be much longer.

opiesleepslate @ 2005-05-14T12:30:00

2005-05-14T19:33:00Z

last night was super boring. kevin went on the box of wine and it was his doom. thats what you get high shcool. if you would like to stay casual today give me a call. im having a harder and harder time leaving my house. but it is really hard to live here.

attempted murder

2005-05-13T21:07:05Z

alright so to everyone who reads this and hasnt been to my house here in california or met my roommate abe. here, go get a copy of double duece, or the cometbus omnibus. read the chapter on "jed". thats abe. but thats abe from almost fourteen years ago. abe is no 32 and more eccentric/insane. wednesday night we had a big party for sam cos he was leaving. a bunch of bottles got broke, and for some reason abe got in my face with a broken bottle and a frying pan. so i pushed him out of the house and told him to get away. much later while i was out painting abe went around to the roommates saying i had tried to kill him. i came home to bugk telling me this and that she had called the police to have him committed. so i went up on the roof to hide from the fuzz. but some how woke up in my bed and missed the pigs. to whom abe tried to have come in and arrest me for attempted murder. mean while the cops just asked if he was taking his meds, did he need meds etc. if we call the cops again abe is gone. bugk called his doctor and described whats happening. the doc said hes decomponsating and will hurt himself or someone else without realizing it, that it will get worse before it gets better. so sams gone and his visit was good. svet has a couch and its nice to sit on and drink beer and eat fruit. i have sold three buttons at needles and pens in the city. i am an overnight sensation. still playing the guitar. i havent seen kristina in a few days and i miss her. she told me she was going to call when she was back from the doctor tuesday. i havent taked to her since except once she called for adam and i picked up. i guess she must be upset or just over it. but it all comes a little suddenly. i guess it always does.

carry on my wayward son

2005-05-10T18:40:07Z

my roommate abe is in a bad way. no one in the house thinks hes fit for living in the general public with us. on the other hand no one is ready to have him committed. so really no one gets any help. talked to kyle on the phone. its good cos it seems like although ive been gone for a long while, were still on the same page. i think im getting better at guitar. mariah took me out for coffee on sunday night and it was really nice, we had a pretty heavy conversation. i wish i had some little anecdote for this entry but i dont. the sea of life is still deep and unknown, but at least for right now the sailing is a little smooth. there that should do.

a long day

2005-05-08T19:59:12Z

yeserday i woke up still a little drunk from the box wine. luckily i woke up withouth an alarm in time to brush my teeth and get to this job i had lined up. unfortunately that meant leaving with out talking to adam, who needed to be taken out for a burritto and shown a good time. so i pedalled my dumbass up to like 63 and did this gig of just painting primer on pieces of plywood. its for my friend andrew and he gave me a few beers, and paid me 20 bucks for some other shit i had sort of done. i was there for a few hours, then ran out of paint. andrew offered to get more so i could work longer and make more money but he was alright with me leaving. so i did. bounced around and then came home. morgan came home and asked if i wanted to go painting. i said i would love too. i made some lunch and then waited a long time. morgan and joe stole some paint and other nice people arrived, and around five oclock we headed out to richmond to go to this abandoned factory to paint. there were a bunch of kids shooting paintball gun so it made the experience really quite surreal. we were there for a while and i finished my fill in first and then joe, hi top, and i walked around and i tried to do throw ups. really in the world of graffiti ive never really more than tag so all this was new and alot of fun. then we left and went to a taco truck and i proved what a true gringo i am. a stoy that entertained all who were present but one i dont wish to repeat. arrived home around nine, andrew gave me another beer and i made ramen. kristina came over which was good cos i was gonna wait until 10:30 to go to the show with her. but she decided not to go, so i went alone. which was alright the bands were so-so. but it was williams new house so i hung loose with him and his talkative friend zach. then the grey daturas played and robert invited me to play drums for their set. i explained that i didnt know how, but he said it was alright. so we just fucking jammed with the lights out for like a half an hour. it was awesome, i hadnt jammed since vermont. then sat around some more, drinking whiskey, but not getting drunk. i was sleepy so i went home. only to find a whole bunch of morgans gang, adam, and kari, being entertained by some french canadians girls story of how she escaped the meth heads of sf, to dead rat beach. obviously with the help of abe. so i made her some ramen and went to bed. i have not yet called kristina but i will, or just go see her at work.

last nite we became epicly latered

2005-05-06T02:24:54Z

last nite i went to see sunn and wolf eyes again here in oakland. it was a lot of fun. i become seriously waste hammered and lost my shit feeling the music. people have commented alot today about how excited i became and that i was dancing so much. not in away that like yea man it was awesome more freaked out by my freak out. whay a bunch of stiffs. so yea i guess i was put in a bit of a bummer mood that people are afraid to let loose. freak out and melt your face off, life is too short. in other news living with abe is very hard. im making alot of punk pins. let me know if you would like to purchase one so i can use some money to buy new glasses. but whatever. i wish i could think of whats been happening to me but sam keeps engaging me in conversation so i should just give up and buy some pasta sauce